Random thoughts 1: Evil as shit!

This is going to be a random blog.

Welcome to my head.  Go ahead, make yourself at home.  What’s mine is… wait, where are you going? You just got here!! Ugh… you are so uncool.

One thing that really annoys me in movies is when…..

…the righteous hero lets the villain live after he defeats him. It drives me crazy. Every time I see it happens I want to reach into the movie and slap the hero upside the head. “Why are you letting him live?! You dumb mother b*tch! You’re going to regret it! One day while you’re not home, he’s going to break into your house and steal all your shits! He’s going to steal your favorite t-shirt, socks, toilet paper, spit in your milk and pee all over your toilet seat covers! You’re going to regret it!”

The hero is like a frigging killing machine until it’s right at the end of the movie, then all of a sudden the hero’s a pacifist.  I mean come on!! Throughout the whole movie he’s killing henchmen left and right, men that didn’t even need to die.  Men that probably had families and are just following orders from the big boss.  He didn’t have any mercy then.

And honestly, you know the villain is going to get revenge. I mean, he’s the main bad guy! He has a reputation to maintain.  Not to mention that if his mom found out the hero whooped his ass, he’s probably as good as dead anyway.  However, the main point is that he’s the main bad guy, you know for sure he’s going to get revenge!  Why? Because he’s evil as shit!! And if you didn’t already know, shit is pretty damn evil! Don’t believe me? Wait until you go poo at your best friend’s house and your shit ends up clogging the toilet. What do you know? No toilet plunger in sight!  So you clasp your hands together so tight that it starts to go numb, but of course, as always, God never answers your prayers when it’s a real emergency.   I mean he did not help you grow a mustache as a teenager, so why would he help you now?

In full panic mode, you scramble and try to find a way out.  You even considered leaving the country for about a year or two, until the heat dies down.

*Snap!* You get a flashing glimpse of the future.  You’re in your friend’s living room, talking to him and confessing your crime.  Shockingly, he’s very cool about it, and even unclogged the toilet for you personally.  He made it seem like it never happened, and you guys just laughed it off.  However, you instinctively knew something was up when he stopped inviting you over to his house.  And before you know it, you have lost contact with your best friend of 15 years.   Another loud snap and you’re back in the bathroom, standing over the toilet, staring blankly at the floating piece of poo, and the only words you can think of is “You evil mother f*cker!”